Friday, September 05, 2003 :::
Let's get scared!
Ah, it's fall... a new semester of school, the leaves turn colors... and OH GOD IT'S ALMOST SEPTEMBER 11th AGAIN! "Terror Day", the newest American Holiday, is celebrated this year with yet another FBI terror warning! Don't worry, we're still at "Yellow" (or three stars out of five), so don't go ducking under your table just yet. The FBI reveals to us these dastardly new plans. Oh, those wily terrorists, always thinking!
"A growing body of credible intelligence indicates al-Qaida continues to develop ... plans calling for hijacking airliners transiting near or flying over the continental United States – but not destined to land at U.S. airports," read the advisory. "Operatives have been studying countries to determine which have the least stringent requirements for entry."
That's right, America, can you wrap your head around that one? The terrorists plan to... ready? Hijack AIRPLANES, and maybe... crash them into things?
Gee, that terror is so old! Where's the new scare, the Freddy vs. Jason?
The alert listed other possible terror schemes involving biological or chemical weapons in the making, including aerosolizing an agent in a densely populated space or disseminating diseases and toxins by contaminating food and water supplies.
In its weekly bulletin to local law enforcement agencies, the FBI also warned of attacks involving "mass poisoning agents."
They're going to... poison us? With what?
"References to nicotine and solanine appear in numerous terrorist training manuals and documents seized in Afghanistan," the bulletin explained. "The most likely technique for nicotine or solanine poisoning would be food, beverage or water contamination; however, nicotine can also be absorbed through the skin and mouth and the digestive and respiratory tracts."
Oh good, they're only going to secondhand smoke us to death. Who's killing more Americans each year with nicotine, folks? Al Qaeda, or RJ Reynolds?
::: posted by Andrewski at 1:24 PM
Did you know John Walker Lindh, before he went to join the Taliban, used to post lengthy "raps" that he wrote to a hip hop newsgroup? Check out this article from the East Bay Weekly (the same magazine that funded Gary Coleman's gubernatorial campaign).
I represent the west don't be mislead by that other shit
20 P-Funk samples and they think they're from the mother ship
Lindh represents the West? The part of the West that believes the West is the devil, apparently. Take note, America: Even wiggers can be terrorists.
::: posted by Andrewski at 1:14 PM
Wednesday, September 03, 2003 :::
Special thanks to new Sex on Tuesday columnist Andrea Desmarais for her absolutely fucking filthy article on anal sex, which nearly made me retch while walking between classes. Andrea's column nearly reaches the depths of depravity of Dan Savage's column Savage Love, which has recently begun using the word "santorum" (as in PA Republican Senator Rick Santorum) to refer to the "frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is the byproduct of anal sex".
With sodomy in the courts (ha!) and gay rights being actively debated, it's good to see that sexheads like Andrea and Dan Savage are keeping the healthy image of dick-in-ass right on the level of the conscious, instead of deep, deep down in the subconscious where it belongs.
::: posted by Andrewski at 6:02 PM
